Bream Gives Me Hiccups & Other Stories by Jesse Eisenberg

By Jesse Eisenberg

Taking its name from a bunch of news that commence the booklet, 'Bream supplies Me Hiccups' strikes from modern L.A. to the dormrooms of an American university to historic Pompeii, throwing the reader right into a universe of social misfits, reimagined scenes from heritage, and ridiculous overreactions. in a single piece, a demanding e-mail alternate among a tender guy and his female friend is taken over via the man’s sister, who's keen about the Bosnian genocide 'The state of affairs jogs my memory of a bit historic blip referred to as the Karadordevo agreement'; in one other, a faculty freshman compelled to dwell with a roommate is shocked whilst certainly one of her ramen packets is going lacking ('she didn’t have “one” of my ramens. She had a bird ramen'); in one other piece, Alexander Graham Bell has teething issues of his invention 'I’ve been calling Mabel all day, she doesn’t decide up! convinced, after all I dialed the perfect quantity – 2!').

United by way of Eisenberg’s reward for humor and personality, and grouped into chapters that every open with an indication via award-winning cartoonist Jean Jullien, the witty items gathered in 'Bream offers Me Hiccups' discover many of the insanities of the trendy international, and mark the coming of a superbly humorous, self-ironic, and unique voice.

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Example text

He glanced briefly at me, and back to Gretel. ’ ‘Then go in peace,’ he said, and bowed again before returning to his people. I waited until he was out of earshot. ’ I demanded. She shrugged. ‘He’s a trader, remember. ’ ‘Yes, but what was he talking about? ’ She hesitated, and then nodded, like someone relenting under pressure. ‘I’ve agreed to attend the tinker women if I’m needed. ’ ‘Because I don’t want it generally known. It could harm my standing in the community. Also, I don’t want you involved.

Of course it didn’t. As I released my hold and stepped free, I barely had time to think: I’m doing it! Flying! I will see the faerie light, I will!  until, mercifully as they say, I lost consciousness. The generously spreading branches of the old tree saved my life, for I was still more or less intact when I reached the ground and lay spreadeagled amongst the tendrils of bindweed that had once been the setting of my fantasies. I wish I could say I dreamed of Robin Goodfellow during the hour or more that I lay there unattended – his glowing face stooping over mine, his wings brushing my lips with faerie-like concern – but I had no such vision.

With a brief nod of apology, I reached for the latch. Straightaway he grabbed me by the hair and forced me roughly to my knees. ’ I shook my head, too scared to speak. ‘Then answer me this. When you visited us last, how exactly did you come to see past our dimming?  a crack in the front door,’ I stuttered out. ’ He didn’t wait for me to finish. ‘Which eye was it that betrayed us? ’ It came to me then – in the midst of my terror – the truth about Gretel. ’ I blurted out. ‘But why? She’d already seen you!

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