I will tell you something true, that most childfree women do not say.
My heart squirms with mixed emotions when one of my friends tells me she is pregnant. I feel happy, because I know my friend is happy; I feel sad, because I know our relationship will change; and I feel… odd, I suppose, because I cannot relate to the powerful desire to be a mother.
I have an amazing mother of my own, who demonstrated in transcendent ways what motherhood is and can be. My example is strong and certain. But I still have never felt that pull, beyond a slight wonderment as other beautiful women in my life choose motherhood.
When Ashley told me she was pregnant, I felt all these things and more, because I have known Ashley since we were teenagers still living under our parents’ roofs. We’ve been immediate friends, then grown apart, then come together again in a bond not unlike sisterhood. She is one of the great loves of my life, and so I cried when she told me that she was expecting a new little person to join her family. I cried because she was happy; I cried because things would change; I cried because…
Because she will be a magnificent mother. And I am so proud to be her friend.
Any day now my phone will ring, and I will, with luck, join Ashley as she brings this tiny human into the world. And I will feel it all, all over again.